PORTHOLE - Forum

CORKBOARD

Here are some jokes. Got any better ones? - NB

What is the definition of confidence?
When your wife catches you in bed with another woman and you slap her on the arse and say "you're next".

Why don't women fart as much as men?
They can't shut their mouth long enough to build up the pressure.

What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.

What's pink and hard?
A Pig with a flick knife.

What has a fat woman and a moped have in common?
They're both OK for a ride until your mates find out.

What is it that a lawyer can do, that a duck can't?
Stick his bill up his arse.

What do Kodak and condoms have in common?
They both capture the moment.

What is a hundred yards long and smells of piss?
The Post Office queue on a thursday morning.

What's the difference between light and hard?
You can sleep with the light on.

(Supplied by Peter Hanratty)